Amalie Silver’s Progress is both beautiful and hauntingly tragic. This unforgettable story held me in its grasp from beginning to end, and it absolutely slayed me. Ms. Silver is not only a phenomenal storyteller, she has a stellar understanding of the complexities of human behavior. She has opened a box of puzzle pieces and challenged us to assemble a picture. The brilliance of this is that every reader will invariably create their own image of what this book means to them. And, that image will not be wrong. Because this story is an exploration into the personality traits we inherit, and those we form on our own. It is a story of how outside influences not only shape how we see ourselves, but also have the power to break us if we allow them to. Progress is a unique kind of love story between two complicated and damaged souls who have the choice to either succumb to the perceptions they have of themselves or break free. I promise you will be thinking about this book for weeks!

Ever since she can remember, Charlene “Charlie” Johnson has been fat. Not plus size, not big boned, not chubby. No, Charlie is admittedly obese. She’s certainly been reminded of it every single day of her 22 years. The taunts, the cruel names, the horrible tricks that were a routine part of her life since grade school ultimately led her to believe she is ugly, damaged, incompetent, and unloveable.

I didn’t care how strong I was supposed to be, no one could’ve endured that daily torture. As a result, I remained quiet, and became a sponge for everyone else’s woes. I stayed home as much as I could. The agony of knowing that every whisper I saw when I walked into a room, every snicker I heard from a distance, and every sinister word that flew from someone’s mouth were all for me, left me believing that I was hideous.

Charlie may consider herself a sponge for everyone else’s woes; the non-threatening fat girl who’s easy to talk to and always ready to offer advice. But therein lies her beauty. Or her curse, as the case may be, because she finds it hard to give up on people. Charlie’s ability to empathize with others is extraordinary. She’s like a beacon, calling troubled souls to her lighthouse of wisdom and safety. It is a safe place for her as well. She can hide behind it and still feel needed, desired, valued. She is happy enough with her life, accepting this is who she is and always will be. Until Jesse Anders sees the beacon that is Charlie and walks into her world.

There was nothing in my past to which I could compare the feeling. He stole the air from my lungs, the thoughts from my mind, and made me want to squeal like a little girl at her first pop concert. It was completely disconcerting.
There was only one other way to explain it: Smitten. I was in Deep. Fucking. Smit.

The gravitational pull Jesse and Charlie have toward each other defies logic. Her co-workers at the restaurant warn her Jesse is bad news. He is intense, unpredictable, volatile. Even frightening. But for the first time in her life a man sees beyond her weight problem to the beautiful woman she is on the inside. Charlie can’t stay away, nor does she want to. Jesse is quickly becoming her best friend, and yet he is still an enigma she can’t quite figure out.

We were completely opposite, but drawn together despite ourselves. His sad, gray eyes were too powerful to ignore. They reminded me so much of my own. I knew then that whatever triggered his anger was the same thing that triggered my complacency…a past too painful to remember.

Charlie is an amazing person. She is a survivor. She’s made the best of her life such as it is. When Jesse walks in upending everything she’s held onto for years, she grabs the experience with both hands, and finally tosses away her complacency. The rare glimpses of himself Jesse reveals to her, the person she knows he has the potential to be, break her heart. Discovering the truth about his past, and his severe bi-polar disorder opens up a world of understanding for Charlie. It doesn’t excuse his hurtful words and neglect. Despite their volatile friendship, Charlie makes positive changes in her life due to Jesse’s influence. She makes progress.  Unfortunately that involves making a decision that might destroy her heart.

Jesse’s past is indeed tragic and crushingly painful. His present is not much better. His erratic behavior runs the gamut from playful and joking to mean and cruel. He’s attentive one day, then gone without a word for a week. Jesse’s mind may be held hostage by his illness but he’s beyond intelligent. He’s cognizant of his oncoming bi-polar episodes, the ugly stages they drag him through, and does his best to keep that ugliness away from Charlie.

People used to talk about it. They used to say when you meet her, you’ll know. And I’d laugh and laugh and laugh. But nothing about my life had been the same since I’d met her. She challenged everything I knew about my faith in mankind. And my reasoning for losing faith had been logical and justified; I hadn’t just made that shit up. People sucked. But not her. She couldn’t hurt me if she tried.

Jesse wants so badly to be a decent guy for Charlie but his illness virtually takes over his life. At least that’s his excuse, and he’s sticking to it. Making the effort to stay on his meds and avoid triggers that hurl him into the manic depressive spiral is a lot of work. What if he puts in his all and still fails? And this is where Jesse is stuck. He hasn’t allowed himself to truly believe and embrace his feelings for Charlie yet.

Progress is gorgeously written from both Charlie and Jesse’s point of view. Ms. Silver puts us inside their heads and has us seeing through their eyes. Because of this, I loved both characters. This is a heart wrenching, emotionally draining novel. And I loved absolutely every minute of it. Although it ends in a cliffhanger of sorts, I would be perfectly happy with the ending as it is. That’s not to say I’m not biting my nails waiting to find out what happens next in book 2, Progress: Interrupted.

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